MUSIC

Thank you

Just paid my rent, a lot of it with money from playing. I want to thank all the people who showed appreciation for my music with donations, especially the very kind gentleman with a walker who was more than generous. Thank you to all.

If anyone reading this would like to support keeping the music playing and helping me buy some equipment i could use (Roland Street Cube, Alto Troubador, Alto TS 312, Yamaha MG 10XU) you can donate below.
Blessings to all,
Socrates T.
Jay

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Taking the challenge

For many years one of my biggest challenges in life has been when I go out and play as a street musician and people enjoy it very much and don’t put money in my case.

You also may know that I have done a really terrible job of booking myself real gigs and so very often my only option if I want to play is to go out and play as a street musician.

An additional complication is that when I’m at home I don’t really sit and play more than a song or two and then I just start noodling around on guitar rather than singing songs.

Another complication is that I really feel the need to play for people. It is just not as satisfying to me to sit in my room and play, yet when I go out and play and people tell me they love it and dance around and don’t put money in the case I get really really angry, frustrated, upset and depressed. Very often I have come home feeling terrible and it has taken me hours of distracting myself to get over it.

On the one hand I feel this deep need to play for people, on the other hand I need to feel appreciated. Talk is cheap, real appreciation is money. When people really value something they put money into it. To constantly feel like I am giving and giving and giving and people are taking and taking and taking and giving nothing back has been extremely difficult for me over the years. I have talked to other street musicians who have felt the same way.

This winter I have not played a gig for months. Yesterday was a relative heat wave. I felt like playing so I dressed really warmly and went down to my spot by the ice cream parlor and played for 2 hours. I really enjoyed the playing, for the first hour it seems like there was some junk on my vocal cords which gradually got worked out so by the second hour I had my voice back. Probably rust from the winter.

There were people sitting outside, as I say it was actually quite a nice day, meaning low forties and sunny, quite pleasant sitting in the sun. I played 2 hours, made $6. Given the amount of people out $15-20 would probably have been about right.

But I realize that my challenge in personal terms this year is to just go play, look for the money to come back in a greater karmic sense, and not go into deep negative states when the tangible appreciation is not showing up. That’s a lot more difficult for me because the truth is I usually really need the money, but I’ve decided that I really want to clean my accounts with this lifetime issue in the course of this next playing season.

So there it is.

Just wrote a poem 2 minutes ago

I very often edit rewrite and add substantially but this is what I just put down

THE OLD DAYS

I feel like I could be in the old days right now
with my cheap wine
my basement door entrance
my untidy room strewn with worn underwear and t-shirts
a Bob Dylan video playing
in the old days it would have been an LP
but same idea

Of course a few things have changed
I have less hair
I’m a calmer, better person
also better at playing music

but the feeling of a gray Winter’s day
financially marginal but
not caring right NOW
Enjoying the video
heating the wine mixed with some apple juice just slightly on my hot plate
eternity in a moment
NOW

 

Yours truly singing a slow version of I know you rider

A slow version of this song in a drone style.

I’ve been playing this song a long time. Sometimes it comes out one way, sometimes it comes out another. This is how it came out this time

https://soundcloud.com/user-761977774/i-know-you-rider-old.

Celebrating 40 years together

My significant other since January 29th, 1979, when we met at Don Wehr’s Music City on Columbus in San Francisco. We have played together in the US and Europe, written many songs together, busked, camped, taken trains and planes, spent many days and nights. The best is yet to come.50248168_10156846753703497_7858059962759512064_n